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To Speak or Not to Speak As a Bridesmaid

To Speak or Not to Speak As a Bridesmaid

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You have agreed to be a bridesmaid and with that comes a lot of responsibility and understanding from you as the girl standing beside her. Being part of a bridal party could get a little tense at times especially when it comes to things you may not quite agree with.

There is truly a fine line between the two routes you can take with whether to speak up and when to keep your lips sealed, so here are some of my suggestions from my own bridesmaid experiences.

When to Keep Your Lips Sealed

When the bride is acting like a crazy bridezilla with outlandish demands because you guessed it – she is the bride. Step back a bit and take a good look at what the bride may be demanding from you as a bridesmaid. See if it is a demand that realistically can be done or something you may need to speak up about. For the most part, keep your lips sealed, because after all you have decided to be in her wedding party and with that comes some crazy moments.

When the bride asks for your advice on her dress, hair, makeup or anything really – but is later offended by what you have said. Next time she asks for your advice, say nothing or simply agree with her. It's sad, but true. Because truthfully she may have just wanted your support.

Comments made by the bride about other bridesmaids – relating to plans, gossip, dresses, hair – anything. Keep your lips sealed. This is between the bride and her other bridesmaid. It is not your place to say anything, even if what you said was totally rational.

About any decision the bride makes pertaining to the wedding day plans, remember this is her day and however it turns out in the end, it is still her day.

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When to Speak Up

If the price of your bridesmaid dress is too much money for you to afford or when the dress just makes you you feel uncomfortable. However, with regards to the price of the dress, if you have agreed to be in a wedding, be prepared to pay for things like the bridesmaid dress may be more than what you expected. If you don't think you can afford the dress or it really makes you look and feel horrible, talk to the bride and see if she willing to make some adjustments, it never hurts to ask.

When the cost of the bachelorette is too much for you to afford. Let the maid/matron-of-honor know ahead of time so that she can be considerate of the bridesmaids, while still making sure the bride will have a good time.

When the bride is demanding you wear a certain brand/style of shoe. Not every brand looks or feels good on everyone. The bride should be aware of this. Just because she likes it doesn't mean her girls will.

When she is demanding you go to particular makeup artist or hair stylist. Not all makeup works on all skin types. Find out ahead of time what kind of makeup the makeup artist is using before committing to having your makeup done. Same goes for the bride as well.

As for hair, if the bride is demanding you go to a certain hair salon that is either beyond what you can afford or you feel more comfortable going to someone who does your hair all the time, speak up. Let your bride know you want to look beautiful on her wedding day, and the last thing you want is to look bad in the pictures the bride will have for a lifetime. The bride should be considerate of this.

Speaking of hair, when the bride demands a certain style for each of the girls, not everyone looks good with and up do or their hair down if that is what the bride prefers. Work with the stylist to see what happy medium you can come to with regards to hair that will make both you and the bride happy.

Some advice: it is important that the bride stays calm as the wedding day approaches, try to pick your battles and find a way to compromise in a calmly fashion. Even if what you say isn't meant to start an argument or be offensive, the bride's nerves could be high strung and the last thing you want is to upset her. Trust me, you will forgive her after you see how beautiful she is going down the aisle.