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10 Things Wedding Guests May Do That Will Annoy You (And How To Deal With Them)

You know, you can plan your wedding day to the nth degree and there's still going to be some stuff that doesn't work out quite as you want. Maybe it'll rain. Maybe a bridesmaid will get chicken pox.

The trick is not to get things out of proportion - just remember it's your big day and you're getting hitched to the man of your dreams.

Some of the stress might be due to your guests though - and just so you're prepared, here's a list of things they do that can upset brides (and our tips for not letting it get to you).

  1. Not RSVP-ing to your invitation. Really annoying this, particularly when you want to give an idea of numbers (and you might also have a standby list of people you want to invite). Probably around 20% of people won't reply until the last minute - there's nothing to stop you giving them a nudge a few weeks beforehand to give you a commitment one way or another.

  2. People who have been invited as singles but ask to bring a plus-one with them. You need to have thought carefully about this beforehand. Unless somebody is living with somebody else as an established couple or they're engaged you don't have to invite their boyfriend or girlfriend. You could hedge a bit and say 'can I see how the numbers go and let you know', you could say 'yes, bring them along' or you could say no outright (in which case prepare for them to decline the invitation). At the end of the day, it's your wedding and your call.

  3. Ignore your gift list requests and buy you something that a) you don't like or b) you already have. Not much you can do about this really. Just be gracious, write a thank you letter and see if you can exchange/eBay the item.

  4. Invite themselves round to your house as you're getting ready on the morning of the wedding. (This happened to me.) This one is a real no no and people should know better. Just have your chief bridesmaid/dad/mum/cousin/best friend or whoever standing guarding the front door and brief them to politely but firmly say that you're not having any visitors that day. Don't look out of the window yourself to see who it is as you might get drawn into conversation. You really need to be focusing on yourself and relaxing before you head off to the ceremony and in any case, everybody whom you wanted to be with you at this special time already will be.

  5. Turn up in a white or cream dress or a very revealing number. (We're talking about the women here!) The etiquette of weddings is that only the bride should wear white, unless the guests have been requested to wear white or cream themselves. Ladies also shouldn't have too much flesh on show at the ceremony. Again, there's not much you can do about this. But it might make you feel better to know that the inappropriately dressed guest will attract attention and not of the right sort. People will pass comment and judgement.

  6. Arrive late at the wedding ceremony when you're saying your vows. Oh dear. This is something the ushers should be briefed about beforehand. If you're okay with it, then they can come in quietly. If not, then they'll have to wait outside the door until there is a natural lull in the ceremony and they aren't going to divert attention away from the important part - your marriage.

  7. Get in the photographer's way whilst he or she is taking photographs. To be honest, photographers are used to this and a professional will have his own way of dealing with enthusiastic amateurs. There's not much you'll be able to do about it so don't worry - and you might get some interesting shots sent to you as well!

  8. Re-arranging your seating plan. Grr. You have probably spent hours working out who should sit next to whom. The trick is to try and make sure people have fun - don't put a single on a table full of marrieds and don't put an older teen on a table full of kids. If people do chop and change, again you're going to have to bear with it. If they end up having a good time at your wedding as a result, does it really matter anyway?

  9. Send back the food or sit eating nothing saying that they are vegan/wheat/dairy intolerant/on a diet ... whatever. To get round this one, make sure you have asked about any food preferences when you send out the invitations and ask your caterer's advice on how to deal with them. If somebody is vegan or whatever, you can then make sure there's something on offer they can eat. Then if somebody does decide to be food picky at your reception it's their lookout - you did what you could.

  10. Remove the table centrepieces and take them home. Well, on one hand you could take this as a compliment that your flower choices are so gorgeous people wanted to keep them. Really, there's nothing much you can do about this one either. Let it go.

Have you heard any horror stories about wedding guests? If so, please share them with us!